We met in elementary school and parted ways after second grade but were reunited in middle school. She was my best friend and we became inseparable on the weekends because we were still in different schools. Middle school and high school passed and our friendship remained unshakable.
She stayed home to go to school locally and I went away to college. Every time I would come home I’d be very excited to see her, but boys came first. It was becoming clear I was second string, but I continued to see the best in her.
After college we entered the corporate world, so I had higher expectations and assumed she would respect our relationship more. I asked her to be a maid-of-honor in our wedding, which I later regretted. She continued to disregard my needs as a friend even during the wedding planning.
Shortly after our wedding it became clear it was time to “break-up.” We had been in this toxic relationship for far too long. As I would speak to others about unsavory incidents that occurred with her, I realized how badly I was treated. None of my other friends would do this to me and I knew that. Plus, I’m pretty sure they were tired of me telling them about all these incidents.
I am writing this piece to tell anyone who is in a similar situation it is okay to “break-up” with a friend who is causing you more pain and anxiety than allowing you to have fun together. It is not necessarily easy by any means, obviously I still think about her. I recently found out she had been in some trouble and it makes me sad, but I know I couldn’t have stopped that. I had been by her side for so long, but my advice, support, and opinions were never really valued.
It is important for you to be healthy and happy in your friendships and they should have a base of mutual respect. If you find that is lacking in any relationship take a step back and ask yourself if it is worth it for you. If not, it will be okay to move on and you can continue to value and enhance the other friendships you have. It took me a long time to do, but it was so worth it.
This experience has made me wiser and stronger. I have been able, over the past seven years, to invest and nurture old and new friendships. I have become a better friend because of this and am thankful for our time together. Our relationship brought me to where I am now and I couldn’t be happier with my village.
