I would venture to guess that most Fairfield County Mom readers are moms or soon-to-be-moms. I might be preaching to the choir here, but I overheard someone say to a (very) pregnant colleague recently, “Wow, don’t you look tired!” Insert eye roll here. This got me thinking about the other things I’ve heard or that were said to me during my pregnancy with my son.
I’m sure I’m guilty of unknowingly making unhelpful and/or annoying comments to pregnant friends and family before I’d experienced pregnancy myself and didn’t know any better. But, any woman who has been through pregnancy can tell you that there are things you should never, ever say to a pregnant woman, so indulge me in this PSA:
1. “Sleep while you can!”
I was amazed at how many people, including total strangers at the grocery store, said this to me. It got worse during the last few months of pregnancy. Clearly, they’ve 1) never been pregnant or 2) forget what it was like to have something the size of a small watermelon pressing up against your bladder all night long and simultaneously kicking you in the ribs.
You’re also getting up to pee every 45 minutes and (if you’re like me) scarfing down a handful of Tums periodically to battle round-the-clock heartburn. There’s not a whole lot of sleep happening towards the end, and maybe that’s your body’s way of preparing you for what’s to come. Cruel, isn’t it? And, it’s not like you can stock sleep in your handy little sleep bank to use later! Wouldn’t that be awesome?
2. “Are you going to eat all of that/the whole thing?”
Why, yes. Yes, I am. Do you have a problem with that? Commenting on what a pregnant woman is or isn’t eating is a bold move. Best to keep that to yourself, mmmkay?
3. “You’re barely pregnant!”
A personal favorite. This was said to me by someone near and dear (who shall remain nameless) during the first few weeks of pregnancy when I complained about dealing with first-trimester nausea and exhaustion. As if there was a pregnancy barometer by which the further along you were, the more pregnant you became. Sure, it may not be visible at the beginning but guess what? Still pregnant. Baby’s only the size of a green olive? Still pregnant. And, just like the end, the beginning of pregnancy can be hard for different reasons.
4. “Are you sure there aren’t two in there?” (when you/they know there’s not)
Yup. I’m sure. I am seeing a doctor pretty regularly, after all. Seriously? This is code for “OMG, you’re huge!” Just no.
5. “Any news yet?!”
Why, yes, as a matter of fact. I’m currently nursing a newborn, and I just hadn’t gotten around to telling anyone yet. Totally well-intentioned, yes, and you probably want the mama-to-be to know she is on your mind and you’re rooting for her (which is much appreciated!). But, in the final days of pregnancy, you can count on the fact that we’re just as eager for something to happen, and asking for a status update five times a day isn’t going to will it to happen any sooner. It just may make mama more anxious. Don’t worry – we will keep you posted!
